I will forever be that eleven year old girl.
I'm ready to move out.
- Current Location:home
- Current Music:Legally Blonde
Grandmother died on Saturday, drove home for the funeral yesterday. Back and school today and then had to watch an hour segment about New Orleans and Hurricane Katrina.
This loud mouth in my class (t) was Oh-Mm-GEEing every time she saw a dead person. My friend Aubree told her to grow up and act like an adult. And then (t) she started ranting about how she was entitled to her feelings. YES. I understand that. But you getting all up in arms about it is not going to change those people's deaths six years later. Where were you when this happened. Did you miss this part? I was so mad.
If she brings it up again I might have to go off on her.
I can't handle stupidity right now. I can barely make it through the day without crying.
- Current Location:The Thad
- Current Music:Elevator Music
The rain started early today, long before I even thought about getting out of bed. But here it is and here it will stay, at least for the next 12 or so hours. They say it's supposed to get worse before night falls, and I believe them.
Rain always puts me in a You've Got Mail kind of mood. Not that I actually want to watch it but the feeling of the movie comes to life on days like today. I can't help it. I hate and love this feeling some times I crave this feeling. I feel slightly more artistic, that I should have been an English Major or was a fashion blogger in a past life.
These are the days when I know I should have been a photojournalist.
And even then, it isn't an exact feeling or a knowledge of that feeling. Its an understanding.
I know deep down, that I always haven't made the right choices when it comes to my future, but I'm finally realizing that and trying to fix it.
But days like today make me feel melancholy in a way. I'm not exactly sad, but....
The word I'm looking for is introspective.
Its like all is right with the world for a few short minutes.
I'm moving to Seattle. Just decided.
- Current Location:Starbucks
- Current Mood: amused
Three years into my major and only ten classes left I officially hate almost everything about it. I don't look forward to the classes or the teachers and the course work makes my chest tighten up in anxiety. I hate that at the tender age of 17 I had to decide my future and now I'm basically stuck with it. How can anyone truly choose what they want to do for the next forty-fifty years as a teenager. Its absolutely ridiculous.
I'm also seriously considering dropping the Honors College. Just the thought of beginning major research this semester... I don't even know where to begin. This was definitely not what I bargained for. Yes, I knew it was going to be difficult, I just didn't realize I'd be fighting almost everyone tooth and nail to do what I was interested in/ what I wanted. Its not worth it. And honestly if I was a quitter I would have dropped it a long time ago. The prospect of a grad school far far away is the only thing keeping me in this on some level.
This week has definitely had its lows and highs. And I regret to say the lows are kicking me when I'm down. I get more and more self conscious the more anxious I get for some reason. Aubree said enough was enough and dragged me to the gym for some much needed girl time and a little exercise to keep me from feeling self absorbed.
For my MCJ class this semester we had to get a blog. Sadly we can't write what we want, otherwise I'd have some very pointed things to say about society and what not. Its strictly school work/ final project related. But If you're at all interested its kaciebailey.blogspot.com
Hope you all have a good finale to the first month of the new year!
- Current Location:dorm room